Leave to Cleave

I love Marriage and want you to have a great one.  When going into marriage, it is useful to have an anchor. As a Christian, if we're going to have a marriage that works, we have to go back to the source and initiator of marriage. The word of God, the bible, gives God all the credit, saying "He did not want man to be alone". It also says that He made him(man) a helper comparable to him, suitable for him. Indeed, before you got married, I am sure you thought so too, don't worry, she is still the same person.

If there are problems right now in your relationship, get your spouse to the table and ask her if she wants this union to flourish and ask her to go on this journey with you giving it another chance. If you are in a good place, you can get even better. If you are not married, then you are learning some fundamentals that will give you a good chance of a good marriage.

I love the way the bible introduces creation, "saying that God made man out of the soil and took man's rib and formed woman from that". To my African and Asian brothers, and any other brothers who consider women as second-class citizens, if you are Christian, avoid incorporating suppressive cultures in the genuine love expressed in the bible. God took part of man's rib, not his foot, not his head, not his hand, his rib, a part of man that protects the delicate parts of his anatomy especially his Heart. I say this because I know a lot of people who treat womanhood as inferior, no no no. Womanhood is unique and highlighted by God's word as loved, and to be cherished.

Adam confessed 'wow', and called her woman because "she is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh". This expression made by Adam was intimate and gave Eve a tremendous sense of belonging. He valued her opinion that when it came time to eat the fruit, he could not resist.

I cannot go on without stating that the Word of God states that, Jesus said, you can only achieve the complete fulfilment of the law if you love God wholly and firstly, and secondly love your neighbour as yourself. Love God, and trust that he has good plans for you, including your marriage and if both of you are ready to place your trust in him, both of you will find love.

In some Bible translations, it says, man shall leave and cleave. Leave his parents to cleave to his wife, and they shall become one. From this, we see that there are only three people in any marriage, man, woman, and God. Man must LEAVE and CLEAVE.......... in other words; there are no other persons that are more important than your spouse... whether man or woman. Until we understand that our dedication primarily after leaving your parents is to the one you cleave to, your wife, marriage has not started.

Like I did say in my welcome to this blog, marriage is unique, and some couples have a lot of love to accommodate other family members but the ultimate decision to do that or to come out of that situation lies with the two individuals in the relationship and God. I am not making rules here, I am sharing my principles that work and it works as long as there is clear communication between the couple and true love.

For men, I believe we have a significant part to play in a great marriage, playing our role with the right fundamentals, attitude, and holding fast to those things will ensure endless joy.