Marriage 101 - Love

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Love

Many people use the word 'Love', and they believe they are making a valuable expression of emotion, which is good, but what are you trying to say?

The Oxford English dictionary defines Love, first and foremost, as an intense feeling of deep affection. But no matter the definition given in the English language, it does not do it justice in expressing the intentions of the three most important words in marriage "I Love You".

The Greeks language attempts to help in giving a good definition by exposing the intentions of the speaker, and I hope this would go a long way to providing a better understanding of what we mean when we say I love you.

Agape means sacrificial love, referring to a decision to give without any expectation of reward, compensation, or payment, in other words, more like charity. This Love is the kind of Love that God has for his people when it says in John 3:16; for God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son...

Storge means love of relatives such as parents and children, which has empathy and acceptance. I was once asked by a mentor when his brother had taken his car without his permission and ended up being stopped by the police, what I thought he should do. I answered if he wanted to teach his brother a lesson, he should allow him to spend the night at the police station, so he would not repeat it. He ( my mentor) told me that the Love of a brother would never allow him to put him (his brother) through that. That was a personal experience of Storge.

Eros means to love when expressing sexual passion. This kind of Love is more about the physical attraction of two individuals due to the other person's desired features.

Philia means to love that describes non-sexual, affectionate regards for someone or friendship. It is most times described as brotherly love where both parties are equals. It is the love that one feels when you'd rather be loyal to a friend than not.

These are just a few examples in the Greek language, and I know with these few examples, you now understand that when you say "I Love You" in marriage, the best kind of love to aspire to is Agape, an unselfish love. As Christians, we learn about this kind of love in Ephesian 5; the word says husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her. Christs' love was so great that he died for the church to demonstrate sacrificial love.