Getting ready
Do you want someone to complete you?
Do you have criteria for who you want to marry?
These are very different questions we have to answer before we get married.
Firstly, no one knows what it takes for two to become one but the one who made us, God, it's not about sex. Sex is shared only when there is a real commitment; otherwise, we open the door to hurt. Both parties need to know one another, what is his/her character. Who is his/ her mentor? What does he/ she understand about marriage? Likes, dislikes, compromises, strengths, weaknesses, and so on.
Secondly, no one can complete you. We all need something fulfilled in our relationship and it is different for everyone. Most men crave sex; most women crave affection, attention, protection, provision, vision, leadership, sex, words of affirmation, communication, e. t c. Please I repeat most, not all and some people are happy to be alone until such a time someone who is equally joyful and settled, and ready to share of themselves comes their way. If you place your inadequacies as a requirement to getting married, you will never find true love. Anyday your spouse stops providing that thing you think you lack, you will look elsewhere.
Do you want to get married? Pay off your credit cards, organise your finances, collect yourself. Cleanliness is next to godliness, look good, be happy, fill your heart with uplifting thoughts and Word, be friendly, be kind.
If both of you try to out-give each other gifts, day outs, quality time, sex the way the other wants it within reason and respect for each other's feelings, space when it's needed, listening ear and advice when sort, you will grow from strength to strength. Remember it will work if both of you are doing it.
Finally, if you give your spouse criteria, first take a look in the mirror and ask yourself whether you meet your criteria honestly. If not, please don't make unrealistic demands.
Beauty? If looks matter, what happens if he/she has an accident and is cripple, marked with a big scar on his/her face, come down with the condition that disfigures your spouse, incapacitates him/her, are you going to annul the marriage? Everyone gets older and sags, are you going to look elsewhere when either or both of you are no more as firm as you once were or loses his/her hair?
Is it money? What happens if an investment goes wrong, and he/she loses everything? Are you going to say it's over too? We have to look for better things, than superficial, like is he/she close to God, kind, ready to share, honest, willing to help when you are not able to cope with any situation among others. The most important is a real relationship with God which we all hope will never change.
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